i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
Randomize