Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
Hippo gnu deer
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
Can I tell him I got herpes from your bong instead of from that guy who claimed to be an olympic diver?
is year to celebrate how much I love you, I made a mosaic of your penis with conversation hearts. it's in your mailbox.\n\nHAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY TO YOU
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
did you know the cops in wilco have clean up kits in their cars for when people puke in them? i found this out this morning. i'm finishing paperwork now. come get me plz?
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
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