Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
That falls under the "unwelcome penises" category. Also that's definitely a sentence I never thought I would say
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
Randomize
