the bouncer made me realize that puking in line does not get you in any faster
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.. I just figured you were drunk and needed somewhere to crash, but your no where to be found. I'll I have is this corn dog. call me when you get this. I'm worried! --mom
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
Randomize
