this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
You couldn't find any paper towel to clean up the wine you spilled, so you tried to use her cat.
ooh i remember now. Not very absorbent.
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
I say "glasses of whiskey" like I didn't chug it out of the bottle
I know you just got dumped by your gf but believe there is still good in the world. I just smoked a joint and took a fucking unbelievable poop. Give me a call tomorrow.
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
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