On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.
i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him.
I gambled and lost. Had to pull into a funeral home to clean up with a copy of my resume.
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
I was blowing him while he was singing Happy Birthday to his girlfriend on the phone. I win.
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
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