I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
Just opened a beer with eyelash curlers... miss you.
There are 9 condoms on my bed either i met the greatest girl ever last night or something horrible has happened.
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
I was so proud to be driving sober that I wanted to get pulled over so I could tell the officer I hadn't been drinking.
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
All of the texts in my phone just say "BEER". I woke up with glowsticks on my arm. What happened last night?
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
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