In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
They're making scrambled eggs at 2 in the morning... with rum
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
I left myself a note saying 'buy a hamster but not an orange one like this pen'
omg so drunk
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
Randomize
