They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
Never have I ever before welcomed her period with such enthusiasm. She was starting to pick out baby names. She got me "What to Expect When You're Expecting."
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
I had a dream that my roommate walked in on me masturbating and I hissed "I'm not stopping this orgasm train for the likes of you" and just kept going
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
He picked me up in Smart Car with the license plate “MYWHIP.” I think my ovaries shriveled up and died.
Randomize
