So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
Made a vodka juice box out of a ziploc bag and a straw for when I drive. Doesn't count as an open beverage container anymore.
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
To the person who put the glitter on my ceiling fan...fuck you
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Randomize
