He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
Also there's so much vodka on my breath that if I blew on my fingers my nail polish would fall right off
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
I wanna stuff your vagina full of Reese's peanut butter hearts and eat you clean
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
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