farters have to be the big spoon...
Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
I just washed my birth control down with captain because I don't have any water and I need to wash the blood off my face before I leave my room.....
Remember when I said I had my shit together?
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
I pour the whiskey from now on
Randomize
