If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
I cut my penus on the lid.
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
Randomize