she lunged for my junk like it was the cure for swine flu
maybe i would like her more if 99% of her sentences didn't start with "yesterday when i was reading twilight..."
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
You dropped my mother on the dance floor. She has a concussion. You didn't apologize. Don't speak to me for a while.
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
Randomize
