why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
I'm pretty sure last night was the first time I've seen someone drink beer-soaked paper towels. Ever.
There was a staple in my grits at waffle house last night. My knees are bruised as hell. And I puked pink all over my bathroom. Gooood night.
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
Pretty sure I just became my mom's wingman
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
If you need me I'll be getting drunk in a chewbacca onsie like a real adult.
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
Randomize
