I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
woke up with peach flovored chap stick on my taint ! dont ask why i know it was peach
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
We don't watch enough power rangers
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
the roommate is literally cooking green eggs n ham, and I'm too hungover to see straight. Dr Seuss nightmare.
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
Randomize
