Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
Oh just living the dream. And by living the dream I mean drinking franzia out of a martini glass and watching family matters. Also, drinking every time Carl Winslow has a mustache and Eddie wears MC Hammer pants
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
The moment you realize you should grow up: you're snorting your fathers percocet script with your old health insurance card, while your parents are on a 10 day cruise in the carribean...
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
He eats kale on the regular. Do I look like a bitch that wants to eat kale. No. Give me some Boston market.
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