We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
How about this: I support you through your miserable marriage, and you support me through all my anonymous sex?
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
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