i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
A good Q tip ear swabbing is better than bad sex.
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
There's a knife in my toilet. And I meant to ask you last night if you got a hair cut?
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
B. I found a note on my phone and all it says is 'Fuck yeah im a racecar'
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
Randomize
