Omg. If Ina Garten Makes roast chicken one more time im going to strangle her with her white button down
Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
I am drunk as shit eating pancakes. I am not the person to call.
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
Randomize
