Well the candle wax mightve been sexy if he didn't drop the candle and light half my bed on fire
Its about making memories worth repressing
you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
Not to make this awkward, but if we ever have sex (perhaps drunkenly), all i'm gonna be able to think about is how sexy our kids would be.
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
Randomize
