This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
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Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
I should get him a card "thanks for letting me use you for your penis on and off as I see fit and for being a nice guy. My boobs and I appreciate your loyalty and dedication"
You need to be on (or possibly create) the international emoji committee to address all of these glaring oversights
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
Drunk purchased a negligee, plan b, keds and Himalayan salt shot glasses.. there’s only one reasonable purchase there, and we both know it’s not the sneakers
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
Randomize
