You made me cry and you don't even care
my dad wants uyo to call him right now...reverse drunk dialing
its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
It took me 40.8 seconds to take a dump at her house, I know because I timed myself.
so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Randomize