This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
I woke up with a dick pic from the ex-Mormon via email. Not really what I wanted to see before my first cup of coffee this morning, but I gotta say, I'm impressed.
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
Yeah so then I used the selfie stick his mom gave me to take nudes
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
I finally got my restraining order in the mail. Was that supposed to upset me? I'm just over here like "TELLEM BOY BYE!-\nlegally..."
Randomize
