She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
I wish there were birth control emojis
Note to self. Don't order a $10 bottle of wine on a 40 min flight because it seems like a good deal.
God you're perfect.
I am. So drunk right now. Good work, Frontier.
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
I'm so high that I'm intently watching my neighbor move his car back and forth in order to put his motorcycle in the garage, and getting irritated that it seems so complicated.
I got laxative. And a toothbrush. Because who wants to buy just laxative on a Friday night?
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
I just found a bag of chex mix in my clutch
You were feeding it to the bartender last night
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
Randomize
