What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
His sex texting was like a step by step guide to the most boring sex ever...
she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
It looks like a tornado ripped through our living room and scattered clothes everywhere.
Count the bras. It was a category 3 whorenado ... I convinced the lesbians to come back to the apartment for a bottle of wine.
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
Randomize