i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
my brother is so whacked out on percocet from hurting his legs that he started crying because his belly button was so cute
does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
dude she looked like Newman from Seinfeld I'm done with this wingman shit
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
Randomize