i forgot how awkward it is to meet new people sober
I should show up to the gym drunk more often. I felt like i really motivated all the fat people.
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
So another one of your girlfriends from middle school had a baby. Thank god you are gay, otherwise you would definitely be a dad by now.
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
i'm not sure what happened last night.. i do remember the police calling me to find out where i was because apparently at some point i went missing? don't worry though. they found me
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
Randomize
