My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
Woke up with two cats staring at me. One covered in puke thats giving me a look that says it might be my fault. Where am I? Come get me.
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
Randomize
