so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
Your first words after putting out the flames, "how am I supposed to eat girls out with my top lip burned off??"
Yeah no more flaming everclear shots.
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day.
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
Randomize
