we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"
I just bought a vibrating toothbrush with my parents FSA insurance card because I'm too broke for a vibrator. New.Level.Of.Low.
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
When the dude you brought home from the bar on Thanksgiving leaves before you wake up ... #thankful
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
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