Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
In her drunkenness, she packed a bag with tequila, two shot glasses, salt, a knife, and two pears. She was prepared but too high to distinguish pears from limes.
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
Literally too hungover to pull out of the driveway. Tried 3 times and failed. I'm going back to bed.
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
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