What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
So my mom wants me to come swim with dolphins with my little sisters in October. I'm not sure how to tell her I saw a "when dolphins attack" special when I was rolling and am now terrified of them.
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
There is a goat eating lettuce out of our fridge. Do you wanna grab a bloody mary?
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
Randomize
