First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
woke up this morning with "hah" written on my penis.i was like wtf?? morning wood kicked in and found out what it really said, haNNah.then i remembered.
so I woke up and found tortilla in my belly button
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
We are totally like Jim and Pam, except ya know, drunk and not together anymore.
Randomize
