They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
You only ask me to come over when your gf is gone, and thats usually at midnight to cook chicken salad and watch you pass out
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
Valuable lesson learned: if you reach the point where you have to talk yourself in to finishing the last half of your beer, you shouldn't try.
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
I don't need my coworkers thinking I'm a nutcase.
You gift wrapped a tampon.
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
Randomize
