A little girl and i are having a face making battle in mcdonalds
She started it, but I totally finished it.
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
They're making scrambled eggs at 2 in the morning... with rum
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
"I'm a professor to university students" I say as I realize I have a nipple piercing that I have no memory of getting
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
Note to self: NEVER have sex with anyone who is experiencing explosive diarrhea.
I've never been so happy to be celibate.
Randomize
