If I were a boy, I'd name my penis Reptar.
OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
The struggles of a small town man whore
Adulthood is punching a guy in the face when you find out he's trying to fuck you and he's married instead of fucking him regardless and believing anything he says
My mom just woke me up with a cowboy hat and sunglasses on. It's 7 am and she's drunk.
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
Randomize
