I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
Dude, I'm importing a boy from Oklahoma for my divorce party. It's like doctors without borders, but with dicks.
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
I'm deleting Tinder. I got there he rubbed my back and then proceeded to jerk off on me.
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
Randomize
