alcohol turns me into mario batali of easy mac
You tend to look at life differently when you wake up to nutella vomit all over your room with no recollection of how it got there
You know how to spell recollection?
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
When we found you, you were using the bottle of Captain as a pillow...with a note on your forehead that said don't wake up the champion.
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
Randomize
