I told her I was team Edward. I haven't gotten laid that easy since I told your sister that I had cancer
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
Apparently I send drunk snapchats a lot and they always have random dudes in them. Like one night it was just me and some guy I don't know sitting on my couch.
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
I added our drug dealer to the quickbooks software babe, he is listed under vendor's as an expense category... money management is such a bitch...
I was running because his wife invited me to join them on their kinky Vegas weekend. Crossing state lines is too much commitment for me.
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