its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
I'm going to get like 25 drinks at their wedding and just leave them sitting around or give them to hobos.
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
There's a naked man in my car right now.
I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
Jimmy johns delivers to the bar behind work. Happy vodka day!
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
Somehow i instagrammed my acceptance letter while blacked out. Then my grandma was the first to comment on it. I got over 50 likes....Phd here I come....
I ate all your munchie Mac and Cheese cause you left me on the lawn. If you don't want it to happen gain, drag my drunk ass inside next time
Randomize
