I feel like my sweat is 40 proof right now
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
Babysitting for someone you accidently sent nudies to is so fucking awkward.
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
My phone just put together a highlight reel of yesterday's dick pic session, set to music and everything
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
Randomize