I'm a gentlemen, chivalry is what i do, i'll open the door, pull out your chair, buy your drinks, i'll even go down first, but when it comes to mario kart, i draw the line. I'm sorry but i just can't let you beat me at mario kart
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
I woke up to a gnawing sound in the middle of the night and asked him what it was. He told me it was the family of squirrels that lives in the wall and to go back to sleep.
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
Guy running next to me at the gym is judging me. I think he can smell the whiskey leaking out of my pores.
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
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