I just saw how many times I called you last night. You're welcome.
I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
I want to get laid tonight but my sheets haven't been washed since vomiting in them on Halloween :(
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
Dear female. Happy valentines day. If you have not had the pleasure of making love to me, please do not fret, I will get around to it soon enough. If you indeed have made love to me, then bravo, wasn't that grand! Perhaps we should do it again? Regardless, have a good day. This has been a public service announcement. Rock on.
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
Randomize
