I dreamt Michael Jackson dropped his pants in front of me and I had to ignore it.
the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
I just saw on the news, this guy tried to smuggle coke in a bouquet of roses... and to think I used to hate valentines day.
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
Randomize
