More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
I swear I have "I love assholes" written on my forehead with ink that only guys can see.
I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
Randomize
