What a fucking waste of an outfit
I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
You hooked up with a kindergarten teacher?
Yea. It's kind of weird knowing that there are kindergarten teachers out there with their nipples pierced.
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
Randomize
