Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
i want two things in life...emily to stop talking and a block of cheese.
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
he's washing the lighter in the sink and telling me to picture unicorns. requesting backup.
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
I booty texted him nothing but three exclamation points at 3:05am and he was in my bed 17 minutes later, lest you think punctuation is not important.
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
Randomize
