HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
and my herpes radar will keep us safe
My mom just told me to drench my entire body in vodka for 20 minutes. I have never been this russian. no one has ever been this russian
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
This is a mass text. First one to reply gets head.
Before anyone claims this, this chick is in my boyfriend's phone as "Worst BJ EVER!"
Does that mean you're calling dibs or can I?
Our first crop came in on the day that they added Hercules to Netflix Instant, I think it's the universe telling us that it approves of us growing shrooms in our guest room.
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
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