just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
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