He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
They called me at 5 AM saying they had a present for me
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
Don't masturbate while listening to Pandora. Just came during a buffalo wild wings commercial and I feel really weird about it.
THERE ARE LEGITLY 4 SEPARATE BITE MARKS ON MY DICK. WHAT. THE. FUCK.
Legitimately*
Go fuck yourself
I can't really text bc it's too expensive but I thought youd like to know I just shit myself in a gift shop.
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
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