i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
Randomize
