Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
I've been up for almost three hours and it took me until JUST NOW to figure out that what I'm tasting isn't blood, just the minerals in the water. Fuck hangovers, man.
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
I just put vodka in my apple sauce. Spice up your fucking life.
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
