gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
This is the I'm sorry text for running around yelling don't shit on my rainbow, end up in the fetal position crying at 4 am in my car because someone shit on my rainbow
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
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