I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
I will not remember tonight for the most part. This text will be evidence. You can and probably will use this against me.
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
FOund a bunch of old fireworks spring cleaning.
Who is our new insurance provider?
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
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