Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
Randomize
