So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
He came up there while i was bartending, ate a salad, told me he wanted to divorce me, then tipped me 10 dollars....
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
Drunk me thinks I can light up a cig anywhere, sober me finds this hilarious and highly irresponsible. The grocery store is not a bar.
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
She asked the bartender for "7 shots of something fruity" and long story short the bartender punched me in the face. Chivalry is stupid.
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
So hungover that I might just sit in my car and wait until chipotle opens...in two hours...
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
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