Hey man sorry I got all grabby
i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
Someone should tell Glenda that I only hang with her because she makes me look prettier.
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
Randomize
