the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
Randomize
