Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
im not trying to sound dramatic, but im covered in microwavable lasagna
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
Can my mom come with to the bar? Prince just died and I feel like I need to take her out to cheer her up.
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
Just hit on a girl with the line, "You look like Natalie Portman if she did drugs". Strike 1
Randomize
