What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
3pm strippers are depressing
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
He was super stoned and then he compared doing meth to having anal sex and told me to "ride that cowboy." The cowboy being my ex.
Look, when i woke up this morning, I had every intention of being a responsible twenty-five year old, cleaning up, making my budget, and filing my taxes. Its just I got siderailed by pot and downloading classic Disney songs, because fuck adulthood; everyone loves Disney.
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
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