the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
SEEEEXXX PLEASE
i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
update: the house isnt on fire anymore, but he is still pissing on all your stuff.
the house was on fire??
shit I thought I told you.
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize
