i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
Do you know how to give stiches?
I do not...this text concerns me
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
Vibrator fell off the top of the dresser and hit me. This might be the most embarrassing black eye incident ever
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
just woke up on the floor with a bottle in my hand. and by bottle, i mean a baby bottle. half filled with tequila.
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
Randomize
