Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
I'm watching the red sox through my neighbors window from my bathroom. We're winning btw.
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
But if you do poop yourself let me know. I want that as a tagline. "So funny she'll make you shit yourself."
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
Randomize
