this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
He threw me a bud light and when I opened it he smacked it out of my hand because "Dave giveth, and Dave taketh away". WTF
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
Do me a favor. Next time I think it's a good idea to take pulls from the handle, yell "FALCON PUNCH" and uppercut me in the taint. My future liver thanks you.
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
Randomize
