Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
Can you please tell me why there's a bottle of urine on my night stand with a note that says "in case you're thirsty in the morning"? Thanks.
so i'm just gonna leave my credit card in your mailbox so you can bail me outta jail.. deal?
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
I'm going on a valentine's date with the random guy i hooked up with in the bar bathroom this weekend...i feel like julia roberts
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
Pretty sure this ice cream truck is following me.
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
For future reference: When the bouncer is approaching you to remove you from his bar, you don't respond by taking off your pants.
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