Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
Now that I'm single, I like to think of myself as in a relationship with Taco Bell.
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
Apparently you can unlock an iPad by doing a line on the lock screen I'm about to bust that myth
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
Randomize
