im watching shaqs comedy special. this is how i know im not sober.
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
For breaking and entering. I think neighbor dan cared more about me puking in his backseat than the surprise of me waking up there
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
Randomize
